Adelaide University Student On Campus For Single Weekly Tutorial Given Stark Reminder As To Why They Just Watch Their Lectures Online

Maxim Buckley (definitely a real person), and some chick called Sam Bedford, reports.

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21-year-old Amy Smith, a third-year university student and a now veteran of student elections, was once again given her yearly reminder as to why she goes to uni as little as possible. Amy, who was already late for class, was assailed on her walk past the hub by three different people in oversized soon-to-be pyjama shirts.

“I was just walking along, minding my own business, when all of a sudden someone was asking me if I’ve ever heard of left-wing politics” the frazzled student stated. “Of course I’ve heard of left-wing politics, who hasn’t?”

“One person even asked me if I’d be interested in voting for an apolitical party, like what’s the point?” the student also revealed. “What the hell kind of platform is that? How could students trust a candidate with no backbone? I want my SSAF to go toward 3-ply toilet paper, not an anti-abortion club.” Amy argued. She did concede however that “being hassled on the way to Horace Lamb at 9am” made her wish she “had never been born”.

Amy also told us about her quick escape from the clutches of the hacks. The student stated that “everything became a blur” as her sympathetic nervous system clicked into gear. Eyes blurry, heart racing, Amy grasped her books tightly and quickly made her way down the stairs towards the Barr Smith Lawns where she ran into us.

Amy, concerned for the sanity of other students on campus, raised a good deal of concerns about the week’s event. “The sticker just never stays on long enough. Even if I do vote, what’s stopping them from harassing me tomorrow? Or the next day? I knew there was a reason I only get out of bed for tutes”.

On Dit is happy to report that Amy made it to her class, though with minutes to spare. Upon conversation, it was obvious that the 21-year-old was visibly rattled, like many who were jostling past us as we spoke in the political haven that is Barr Smith Lawns.

Stay tuned for more election week coverage.

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Adelaide University student magazine since 1932. Edited by Nicholas Birchall, Felix Eldridge, Taylor Fernandez and Larisa Forgac. Email us at

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