Report: First-year election campaigner wonders why there are so many UniSA students on campus
Words by Shit Dit
Leon Purcell, SRC General Councilor candidate for Regress, has dreamed of entering politics ever since he was voted Most-Improved at his year 8 debating championship.
“My ATAR wasn’t high enough for medicine, and I don’t like manual labour, so being in politics is pretty much the only way I can contribute to society in a meaningful way.”
After Purcell caught the attention of 8th-year Law School powerbroker James Wormwood, he was offered seventh place on the Regress faction’s how-to-vote card in this week’s student elections.
“I was really impressed by his ability to look good and have absolutely nothing of substance to say,” said Wormwood.
“In other words, he’s the perfect Regress candidate.”
But Purcell was in for a rude awakening. Halfway through his first campaigning shift, Purcell was rather surprised to discover that most of his prospective voters were, in fact, not from Adelaide Uni at all.
“Really strange how everyone seems to be from SuperTafe, hey. Even got some Flinders students walk by a few minutes ago.”
He also remarked that an unusually high number of students had already voted only hours into polling.
“I’m not complaining. I mean, how good is democracy, hey?”
Purcell did have one nice chat with another first-year student looking for the nearest toilets. He gave her his business card and told her to call him if there was anything else he could help with.
“What can I say? I’m a people person. It’s not all factional meetings and stacking university committees.”
However, in the excitement of a female actually talking to him, Purcell appears to have forgotten to give her a how-to-vote card.
“I’m not stressed – I’m sure someone will take one eventually!” he said, using one to wipe away a solitary tear from his cheek.
Um… more to come?
