Paro Dit - On Dit popularity skyrockets amid nation-wide toilet paper shortage

Words by Gage McGriffin

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Artist interpretation of the scenes

In a surprising development in the COVID-19 epidemic, On Dit readership has risen by 300% in the last week, as university students everywhere flock to campus On Dit distribution points to snatch up copies. This unforeseen consequence is seemingly the result of a nationwide toilet paper shortage.

Despite On Dit committing to a limited physical release for the foreseeable future, as well as physical classes having ceased, students flooded campus today to grab the latest release of the student magazine.

Speaking with students today, amidst a mob formed around a distribution point, On Dit enquired as to its sudden rise in popularity. Speaking with one student, they commented “Of course I’m picking a copy up! With toilet paper a stronger commodity than gold at the moment, I need something to barter with.”

Another student seen walking off with 25 copies in hand spoke briefly with our campus reporter “It’s basically like wiping my shit with other shit.”

More to come as this story unfolds…

Written by

Adelaide University student magazine since 1932. Edited by Nicholas Birchall, Felix Eldridge, Taylor Fernandez and Larisa Forgac. Email us at onditmag@gmail.com

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